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That’s the topic for discussion on Thursday, October 29, at Virginia Commonwealth  University. An eyebrow raising one at that. What may be more of a surprise — albeit a decidedly good one — is that Dr. Brad Wilcox is the one giving the presentation.

Dr. Wilcox is a renown expert on marriage and serves on our Marriage Commission, which has produced several recommendations for the General Assembly to reduce the rate of divorce in the commonwealth (at least one of which now is law). Dr. Wilcox is director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, where he also is an associate professor of sociology. In addition, he is a member of the James Madison Society at Princeton University. His research focuses on marriage, parenting and cohabitation, as well as on the ways that gender, religion and children influence the quality and stability of American family life. He is widely published in publications such as The American Sociological Review, Social Forces, The Journal of Marriage and Family, and The Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion.

The lecture is one in the Saint Benedict Institute Lecture series and is free and open to the public. If you live in, or will be in, the Richmond area on October 29, it will be well worth the time to attend. We’re sure Dr. Wilcox’s remarks will shed light on the very serious problem of divorce in America and the reasons for its proclivity. The preface to the lecture’s theme — “After The Revolution” — gives a hint: The sexual revolution was supposed to unleash a healthy liberation for women and men alike. Apparently, not; not for women, not for men, and certainly not for the wreckage of the broken families and children left in its wake.

The lecture is from 7:00-9:00 p.m. and is free and open to the public. It is in room 1169 at the VCU building at 901 West Main Street.

Today in Washington, D.C., there is a meeting of the vast right wing conspiracy. Big surprise, The Family Foundation is in the midst. Although the left might prefer we were the only ones in the room, we are not. The Values Voter Summit hosted by the Family Research Council Action has drawn more than 2,000 people to the historic Washington Hilton. Speaking to this energized crowd is quite a line up of thinkers and doers including CNN host Lou Dobbs, Joe Gibbs, Newt Gingrich, Michael Medved, Stephen Baldwin, Alveda King, Michael Steele, Star Parker, Dr. Bill Bennett, Laura Ingram, Ben Stein, Chuck Colson and many more. 

Casual conversations with folks indicate that they really wish Governor Sarah Palin was joining us but they respect the fact that she is in Alaska deploying her son and since she just drew 23,000 people in Farfax this week, they’ll cut her some slack. Michael Steele told us what he has told the media this past week, “I know Sarah Palin and you don’t want to mess with Sarah Palin. She shoots moose, what do you think she is going to do to a donkey?” 

The leadership of all of the family policy councils around the country have been here much of the week pow-wowing about marriage amendments on the ballots in Ariz., Calif., and Fla., and much more. A smaller segment of the group is discussing not just issues, but tactics. In particular, a conclusion has been reached by those of us that aren’t 50+ year old white men (no offense to those that are) that our movement has not yet grabbed the tools and terminology needed to reach the ever important 18-29 year old voting block. While we don’t have all the solutions, I’ve heard that the first step is acknolwledging the problem. 

Lou Dobbs encouraged conservatives in the room to diversity our issues. Although his comments were aimed at the fiscal issues, closed door meetings have discussed not allowing the left to claim the issues of poverty and social justice. Indeed the greatest efforts toward giving every citizen a shot at the American dream are those that go straight to the root problem — solutions that secure and stablize a nuclear family. A bunch of brainiacs shared some embargoed research with a small group of us yesterday and it continues to be clear that if we want men, women and children to succeed in any way (financial, education, etc.), we must stop the out of wedlock births, cohabitation and divorce. If we want our young men to grow up and not end up on the street or in our prison system, they need their dads! That’s not a moral opinion, its a social science fact. Clearly, we need to be a part of making sure we love our neighbor by making sure they know where their next meal comes from, but working to solve poverty runs so much deeper than a bunch of government programs. 

Interestingly, Dobbs acknowledged that FRC President Tony Perkins has been instrumental in his “conversation” to believing that values voters matter and need to have a voice in the public square. Dobbs hasn’t always believed that way and said he was used to pursuading people to his point of view, but Tony turned the tables on him.

One thing is for sure, the energy level among values voters has received a monumental shot of adreneline with Sarah Palin joining the Republican ticket. These people are ready to go home across the nation and go to work. That impact will no doubt be felt election day.

Not that long ago, a small town in Massachussets got a lot of attention because there appeared to be a “pregnancy pact” among teenage girls at the local high school. More than a dozen misguided young ladies, allegedly, intentionally got pregnant. That incident illustrated the extreme confusion in our society about the beauty of motherhood and its appropriate place in a lifelong marriage. Moreover, it showed no understanding of the crucial element of love and commitment for sexual relations.

Now, it appears a new trend might have that story beat. National Public Radio recently aired a story highlighting what today’s youth believe “real commitment” looks like (click here for story). The piece describes how one knows a relationship is serious and committed when “the condoms come off.” 

Everyone knows that these days more and more young people are choosing to live together prior to walking down the aisle, despite the statistically proven increase in likelihood of divorce for cohabitators. But many people would be shocked to know that instead of a diamond ring to signify a future together, young people are simply acknowledging their vulnerability and trust through not protecting themselves during sex.    

Prior to this story, I believed cohabitation was the most self-deprecating thing young women do. While some women are earnestly tricked into believing that testing compatibility is valuable, cohabitation is a guy’s win-win situation. Girls believe living together is a step closer to their end goal of matrimony, while guys view it as a great stalling mechanism that allows all the benefits of marriage with no commitment: sex, cooking, cleaning, half the rent and more. 

I know now that there are worse things than cohabitation. Women are trading in the beautiful tradition of a man saving his hard-earned money to demonstrate his commitment and love through a diamond ring for a glimmer of hope that he might be serious, demonstrated through the potential of sharing STDs. How romantic.

How sad.